By MonaLee Wilson (thoughtless~blue sky~January)
Harold stood and looked out the window at the blue sky through the blur of barely suppressed tears. How could he have been such a fool? Never would he have thought a prank could cause such pain.
He had been playing these pranks on his brother Barry, who was one year older, for years. Harold took care of Barry’s schedule in high school as he was too involved to keep track of his activities. As a lark Harold started attending minor functions as Barry. Not many knew they were related as they didn’t really look like each other. Seen separately no one would suspect any relationship. It was only when the brothers were together that the resemblance showed. The way they stood, the same height and build, the dimples and shape of the eyes.
These deceptions were successful and so much fun he continued them. Of course Barry was furious whenever it happened. Harold continued to take Barry’s place from time to time and justified this by the fact they were always minor appointments or a first time dinner date
Their long time friend Amy had asked Barry to take her friend Jessica to dinner. Per usual, Harold was asked to make the arrangements. Life was stale right now so he had gone instead. What he did not expect was to be bowled over by this date. Always he had scoffed about love, and love at first sight was nothing more than ridiculous. The emotion love was just a cover up for lust as far as he was concerned.
After meeting Jessica he would never bash love again. He was hit and hit hard with love at first sight. To continue be Barry now was impossible. Just tell Jessica he was a substitute. No need to explain about pranks. Somehow it never got done..
Jessica had fallen just as hard and became his ‘Jessie’. She said no one else called her by that name. They saw each other almost every night and were soon making wedding plans. What a laugh his friends would have once they knew. Confirmed bachelor, non-believer of love, Harold was gonna get hitched. He wanted to break into song (he never sang) and tell everyone how he felt whether he knew them or not. He couldn’t stop smiling this silly grin. All he had to do was envision his Jessie and he was lost again and his imagination saw her all day long, dreaming of them together at night. He was so enthralled he forgot he had actually set a dinner date a month later for her and Barry.
That’s when it all fell apart and he wasn’t sure he would survive the pain of loss. Barry showed up as Jessie’s blind date and Harold was finished. Jessie wouldn’t talk to him or see him. He tried to explain but she didn’t give him a chance. Her belief in their love and her trust had been shattered like her heart. She was convinced he had only been playing a game.
The tears started in earnest. He had been taught boys and men don’t cry. Be strong! Suck it up! Grit your teeth and move on! What hogwash. Didn’t they realize men hurt as much as women? All he saw before him was a life of bleakness without Jessie and her love. Days turned into weeks and then months and still his loneliness did not lessen. His life was more barren and cold than the January weather outside. A plan was needed, as he could not go on like this. He tossed out one scene after another as each one became more outrageous. Think. Think. How was he to get Jessie alone long enough to convince her of his love? Then a smile lit his face as he realized the solution.
Jessica was unsuspecting as she climbed the few steps to Amy’s front door. She had cried buckets on her friend’s shoulder these past few months. She regretted her refusal to see or talk to Harold. Amy had kept her appraised of his misery and urged her to make it up. At first the pain of betrayal was too new and deep. As the months slowly passed, her need of Harold became stronger and her heart urged her to forgive. But could she?
Amy had the door opened by the time Jessica reached it and led the way to the kitchen. As soon as they entered the room Amy bolted out the back door, and locked it as she left. Before Jessica could respond Harold stepped into the room. Her first reaction was furious anger at Amy and then at Harold. How could they do this to her? Betrayal overwhelmed her and she just wanted to run, but there was no place to go. Finally she looked at Harold and saw his pain.
No word was spoken as Harold led her to a chair and, given no choice, she sat down. He pulled another chair up close, took her hands in his and started to talk. He poured out his love and how desolate he had become without her. There was no doubt of the truth of his words. It was there in his eyes and the defeated slump of his body.
Amy’s heart was torn as she listened. She had been in torment for months as she missed his love. As she vented her anger and cried out her pain, Harold ached to hold her close but was afraid to do so. He didn’t think he could live with the rejection.
Emotionally exhausted, they were finally able to talk calmly but Jessica was not sure she could trust his love. The future loomed forever bleak spent alone. She had to give them a
chance for happiness and they needed to let the wounds heal so they could go on from there. Only time would tell and she could give them that.